Everything I've Always Wanted to Tell You
by DryadSpeaks
Summary: A member of the Glee Club writes Artie a letter and sends it to him for his 20th birthday.  What are the things she always wanted to tell him?  Why didn't she?    I don't own Glee...obviously.


Dear Artie,

I'm writing you this letter because I don't think I could ever say everything I want you to know out loud.

There are so many things I've wanted to tell you for such a long time. So many things that might explain my actions in the past. So many things that I hope will make you understand what I'm feeling...and maybe what you're feeling too (I hope).

I remember when we were nine years old. You had just returned to school after your accident, and everyone was staying far, far away from you and your wheelchair. I wanted to go up to you, give you a hug, and say that I was glad you were back...but I didn't, because I was worried you wouldn't remember that we were friends before your accident, and I saw what happened to that other boy that tried to be friends with you...kids are so cruel. If I had known then what I know now, that what other people think doesn't matter, I would have marched up to you and declared that I thought we should be friends, that it didn't matter to me that you couldn't walk anymore, that you were still the same old Artie.

But, I didn't, and I am so, so sorry for that. Maybe if I had had the courage to do that, both our lives would have been much different. The hurt I saw in your face that day just about crushed me. Your expression is something I will never forget. It was an expression I hoped never to see on your face again, but sadly that wasn't the case.

I remember when we moved up to middle school. I hoped that you'd make some more friends, because there were a lot more kids there, but as the school year went on, I realised that kids in middle school are just as cruel, or crueller, than kids in elementary school. I don't know if you ever noticed, but I always walked to classes a few feet behind you, hoping to protect you if someone tried to do something to you. Of course, I don't know what I would have done, but I felt like it was my duty to watch over you, because I had failed so miserably when we were younger. In a lot of ways, I still feel like that. I found out about so many things that they did to you after it was already too late, and it broke my heart every time. I felt like I should have been able to be everywhere, all the time, just to make sure you were safe. (If we were actually talking right now you'd probably make a joke about super heroes, and I'd probably be laughing)

When we got to high school, I saw less and less of you. We had some of the same classes, but you had your jazz band, and I had my...well, you know. Even though I saw you somewhere every day, I felt like our worlds were breaking further and further apart...even if they hadn't been that close to begin with. I felt like I was losing you, even though I knew I never really had you to begin with.

One day I saw your name on the signup sheet for Glee Club, and knew that I had to get in there somehow. I hoped that maybe I could finally connect with you if I joined the club. I thought that maybe if we had an activity in common, we'd open up that door to friendship that I'd been hiding behind for so long. Of course...so many things happened that year that it didn't go according to my plan. Sure, we had our moments during various Glee Club numbers, but I never had the chance to tell you everything.

I used to see you glancing over at me sometimes, especially during Glee. That smile, slight, and off to the side, touched me so deeply every time. God, I love it when you smile. I miss seeing you do that every day. I think that's what I miss the most about high school.

I've been thinking about writing this letter for the last two years. Last week I realized that the 20th of this month will be your 20th birthday, and I thought I'd finally put my pen to paper so I could tuck this into a card and send it to you for your birthday. I hope you liked the card...that teddy bear wearing the sweater vest and suspenders was just too cute for me to pass up, even if it isn't technically a birthday card. Hey...it's the thought that counts, right?

Speaking of thought, I just thought you'd want to know that **I love you**, and I can't believe it's taken me this long to tell you. There were so many times that I'd planned to tell you, but it never worked out. I used to practice in my head, over and over, what I would say to you if we got a moment alone and I had the courage to tell you how I felt. Actually...I'm still practicing it in my mind, just in case we ever meet and I can tell you face to face.

I'm sorry this letter is so long...but then, I could have written a book to you and it still wouldn't have contained everything I've always wanted to tell you.

Love,

Quinn.

**A/N: I didn't tag who the second character featured in the story was, because I thought it probably would work best if it was a bit of a surprise. **** It was SO difficult to write this without blatantly saying who was writing the letter...if one person got to the end and was then surprised by the author of the letter, my work is done here! And if not...well, this was really fun to write, anyways. :-)  
**

**I'm thinking about writing a multi-chaptered fic which starts when Artie receives this letter, and explores things a bit more from Artie's perspective. Or maybe even just a letter from him back to her. I'm not sure yet, but if either of these ideas sound like something you'd be interested in reading, let me know via review or pm!**


End file.
